Last night, the Australian Idol finale smashed records, pulling in an unprecedented audience of three: a scruffy pup named Bruce, 92-year-old Nan Bev, and Shane, a bloke who dozed off halfway through a highway patrol re-run.
Bruce, a loyal viewer from Wagga Wagga, reportedly tuned in for the dazzling promise of host Ricki-Lee Coulter’s sequined pantsuit, which he mistook for a high-tech chew toy advert. Sources close to the pup say he barked and wagged his tail approvingly at winning contestant Marshall Hamburger’s rendition of “Shake a Tail Feather”.
“I was trying to find Better Homes and Gardens”
Bev had mistakenly tuned in while searching for another show. “I was trying to find Better Homes and Gardens,” Bev explained, “but the bright lights and loud music kept me hooked. I didn’t know who half these people were, but I liked the one who was wearing the shiny shoes.”
Shane, sprawled on a couch in Perth, was the wildcard. Having nodded off during a re-run of Highway Patrol. Too groggy to find the remote under a pile of empty 4Xs cans, he watched in a haze, later claiming, “It wasn’t half bad, but I reckon I deserve a medal for not switching to Netflix.”
“We’ve tripled our viewership since last season, when we had just one viewer,” said executive producer David Carter. He added, “This is proof that Australian Idol remains a cultural juggernaut.”
